Puzzley puzzle

Saturday, December 31st, 2011 09:00 pm
flemmings: (Default)
OK, I really don't know what gives here. Reading along in 1Q84 I find him using a kanji as a verb, but not at all the obscure verb the Wordtank gives. So I reach for the translation to see what they make of it, and find two sentences in the English version that don't exist in the Japanese. It doesn't look like there are variant versions of the Japanese work, so I have no idea where those sentences came from.

(The kanji is 肯 which Murakami seems to use for unazuku, nod in agreement.)
On more disagreeable subjects )

(no subject)

Thursday, December 29th, 2011 10:10 pm
flemmings: (Default)
1. [livejournal.com profile] solaas and [livejournal.com profile] avalonjones/ [livejournal.com profile] kagenami, your Christmas cards came. Thank you so much, and A and K, thank you for the dragon stickers. Year of the dragon again. The last one must have been 2000, which was before I dragoned; before I Saiyukied, in fact, at least before August. A good year: may we have a repeat in 2012.
Read more... )

(no subject)

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011 02:11 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Am having one of my Christmas marathon reads, aided by minimal hours at work and much phthisic languishments on sofas still. But because I'm a visual reader my mind is the most unholy stew of fragments and moods in consequence. Moods partly because I read Gene Wolfe's There are Doors in a day or so, where the narrator's dreams and his reality have exactly the same flavour, and the flavour is 'Something's happening here and you don't know what it is, do you, Mr Jones?' When you live alone and have minimal social contact with other people, it's as well to keep that kind of book balanced by more mundane stuff, or your own reality starts looking iffy. Thus I finished Point of Dreams finally, sad that the glimpse of Ruling Women wasn't quite as I'd remembered it, and Castle Rouge to have it finished, irked by CofE Englishwomen who call themselves Episcopalian and writers who don't know the difference between ravaged and ravished.

Oh, and PoD does a Hammett. Someone shoots at Lord Whatsisface and they forgot to tell us who it was.
Cut for bibliomania )
flemmings: (Default)
It's pleasant, waking up from dreams, for the reason Li Bai adduces up there in the subject line. For all the mindful 'be where you are' Buddhist teachings, one must admit that where one is has a certain dull sameness to it. Same house, same job, same city, same me. A dream is a trip to elsewhere, a view outside of one's narrow reality. So I relish my last night's trip to Tokyo, which wasn't of course anything like the real one, and even though it did turn into a bathroom frustration dream, as dream!Tokyo is wont to do. This time, at least, all the toilets weren't smooth upholstered chairs, as has happened before; but Mizuno-san, the concierge at the dorm, had removed all the toilet seats in the building, leaving only the cold porcelain bowls.

We have the first snow of this winter today, a scant week before New Year's, so the world is a different place. I am trying to reconcile myself to the loss of convenience and the knee pain that goes with boots, don't ask me why; especially since my knees have already been paining me in ordinary shoes.

They ask why I live in the green mountains
I smile and don't reply; my heart's at ease.
Peach blossoms flow downstream, leaving no trace-
And there are other earths and skies than these.
-trans Vikram Seth

Sniff, Memory

Sunday, December 25th, 2011 02:38 pm
flemmings: (Default)
One of those Buddhist self-help books I've been reading all year posed the question 'What is the color of happiness? The sound? The smell? The taste?' Not so easy to answer all of those, but the smell of happiness I knew at once: woodsmoke. My spirits lift automatically whenever I encounter it, which isn't often, air pollution rules being as they are in this town. One reason I stayed as long as I did in Japan, I'm convinced, is because down the street from my dorm was a lumber yard, and the thriftless Japanese don't do whatever we do with scrap lumber-- they burn it. There's woodsmoke in Heiwadai all through the evening, and most afternoons as well.
Cut because otherwise the edit bar doesn't show )

Update

Sunday, December 18th, 2011 11:23 am
flemmings: (Default)
Still in point form because, well, see #1:

1. The internet absence is down to my brain being more in Facebook mode, or even Twitter, than anything involving sequential sentences. Head cold is still in head, doing its best imitation of a sinus infection. Much forced saline drainage has been employed. Saw doctor, acupuncturist, chiropracter and Thai massage guy last week, the first three earlier than I cared for. Worked a few hours, rather more than I cared for as well, except that work provides my few social interactions of the week.

Result being that half the world will be getting New Year's cards from me, not Christmas ones.
More )

Nice things

Monday, December 12th, 2011 10:02 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Morning: Woke from a dream about going to Shoujocon, or some Shoujocon, set long ago and far away in my brother's old bedroom in the family house. A lot of making last-minute hotel reservations while someone insisted on trying to upload their dancing and singing Sailor Moon .gif on my technology-challenged computer (possibly the one I had in 1987), so an element of frustration dream in it too. But mostly the sun shone and I was going to New York to see a lot of old friends; and was surprised to wake into Now when Shoujocon is just a distant memory.

Midday: The mail brought [livejournal.com profile] mvrdrk's elegant cotton and silk-knit cowl, or neck warmer as I call it, in my shades (burgundy heathery port.) The knitting is so fine I couldn't possibly wear it to work, but shall put it on when I'm dressed up to go out to dinner. Well, I *did* wear it to work to show it off, and because the pre-schoolers aren't likely to wipe their dribbly faces on it, but in general-- no, I shall keep the infings far away from it and it from them. But thank you so much, [livejournal.com profile] mvrdrk.

Evening: Up at Blawblaws to get Dimetapp for *my* snotty nose, I ran into a 50% off sale on Olay products. Someone said that all you need for skin care is Dove soap and Oil of Olay. Well, maybe. I was briefly tempted by the 'hint of foundation' one to cover those brown blotches that have begun to appear, but figured it'd just look like makeup, so bought the 'full-range protection' one that screens out UV rays and sunlight-- not that there's much of either in a Toronto winter. But it might actually, yanno, *moisturize.* 'Do you think these will actually make us look thirty years younger?' asked the unwontedly gregarious woman cruising the shelves at my side. 'I doubt it. And would you really want it to?' 'Mh, maybe not. I'd settle for fifteen.' Yes, so would I. Largely because at 45 I looked 35, which is a good age to look.
flemmings: (Default)
1. Severed tooth was essence of no big deal. Mid-afternoon I was thinking 'This is a doddle, maybe I'll go hang out with some babies.' Then it started to hurt, but half a tylenol-3 (= two over the counter tablets, a dose I regularly take anyway) put it to sleep again. Great strides in the science of tooth extraction since 2003, of which all I remember is weeping in pain and waiting desperately till I could take another 292 (aspirin and great amounts of codeine.) I do miss aspirin and codeine, which gave a lovely high when it didn't give strychnine poisoning stomach cramps; but tylenol-3s will do, evidently. (I can have '1-2 every 4-6 hours', evidently. The zombie walks.)
More )
flemmings: (Default)
A winter coat, to start with. Was looking what prices Walmart had on machines and wandered by accident into Winners, as one does. Came out with cheapish plastic/ vinyl/ something jacket, figuring oh it will do now that my best beloved black cloth coat is ten years old and fraying badly. It more than does. It's waterproof. It's warm. The silly pockets that made me curse the first five times I wore it because they open *backwards*, open backwards so rain can't blow into them. It velcroes on top of the zipper (a good thing because I'm a button person all the way and zippers are counter-intuitive.) I can wear it without a fleecy underneath until the temps go below zero, and it's light. Ugly as sin, but light. Go me.

Then I went to Canadian Tire to get a vacuum cleaner and discovered a) what they have are Dirt Devil type things that b) don't have the kind of heads I'm used to and that c) are too heavy to get home on a bicycle anyway. But what CanTire had as well are solar powered Christmas lights, that I'd looked for in vain for several years. My house has no outdoor outlet. I can't wreathe my overwrought iron porch rails in fairy lights like next door. But I can wreathe them in a strand (these things are *expensive*) of solar powered lights that turn themselves on at dusk, so my house at last looks cheery at Christmas.

Also standing in line at the supermarket I saw a snack labelled, in our bilingual fashion, 'Maïs à la marmite.' Marmite-flavoured popcorn? Could not believe it. As well. That's 'kettle-popped corn' to you. This is partly why I'm taking French next year.

(no subject)

Monday, December 5th, 2011 09:44 pm
flemmings: (Default)
I really shouldn't have started reading Snuff. I should have saved it for after Thursday's tooth extraction, when it would have distracted me from the discomfort as efficiently as Handel's Messiah did that Irishman at the first performance. He had a toothache as well.

Oh well. I shall just have to reread Thud for my tooth.

(no subject)

Monday, November 28th, 2011 11:10 pm
flemmings: (Default)
My copy of 1Q84 pt 1 arrived today, speeding from Japan as if from New York. I hadn't realized it was a hardcover. Perhaps that will make for easier reading, or perhaps not. When Murakami is good, he is very very good, and when he is bad he's A Wild Sheep Chase, which goes nowhere and takes forever to do it. Cannot work up any enthusiasm for that book, and I've barely got to the sheep so far.

I'm being injected in the knee Wednesday, with instructions to stay off feet for the next 48 hours thereafter. I suppose I could read the Murakami and call it Japanese practice. But I'm much more likely to read The Kingdom of Gods, which I was saving for precisely this occasion.

On an unrelated note, why do people who write prefaces feel it necessary to summarize the plot? Don't they realize this is an unforgivable sin? Recent instance was The Life of Milarepa, that I bought with the $10 I won in the lottery Saturday night. And that isn't even a novel. I was expecting the preface to give me some background to the history of Tibetan Buddhism, and got it, but then I was in the middle of Whosis telling me the highpoints of Milarepa's life. Dude, sorry to be so shallow, but that's why I'm reading the book.
flemmings: (Default)
(I dreamed a CLAMP manga last night, or anime, I suppose, because there was action. But *CLAMP*, all big eyes and feathers. I am displeased with my subconscious.)
News from the tech wars )

Listies again

Friday, November 4th, 2011 10:50 pm
flemmings: (Default)
1. There's a long list of everyday stuff that I hate doing, for no good reason but that I do, and in spite of the fact that when it's done the pleasure is out of all proportion to the minor expenditure of energy.

a. Pumping the bicycle tires.
b. Cooking stir fry. (All the dreary chopping, like taping and priming before you're allowed to paint.)
c. Washing dishes. Every day. No *end* to it.
d. Flossing my bridge. Flossing my teeth I've at last turned into a reflex, but the bridge requires more psychic energy than I have.
e. Vacuuming. I put this down to the decrepit state of the vacuum machine; something shiny and new, with attachments that come off easily, might remove the wanhope of the exercise.

I shall note that I did the first three last night, go me.
Moar )
flemmings: (Default)
A webpage of Sherlock Holmes pastiche summaries-- so many... Though I seriously want to front-lawn Michael Hardwick's own The Revenge of the Hound. Do not believe English men and women a hundred years ago, or even American men and women, fell into first-name usage a few minutes after being introduced; and I cannot see Dr. Watson ever accepting payment for squiring a young lady about London.

Meanwhile Mrs Hudson Knows Best *will* be front-lawned. Landladies do not open their tenant's letters from the Ministry; they do not.

Otherwise have been virtuous, but if there is health within me it won't be for long.
Naze nara... )
flemmings: (Default)
In my current state of slightly uncomfortable loose-endishness, all I seem to want to do is read Sherlock Holmes pastiche. There's certainly enough of it around. Alas, what remains to me now is a series that might be called Mrs Hudson Knows Best, and the inevitable had-to-happen: a Canadian writes Holmes and at once puts him on a steamer bound for Canada with a bunch of Irish refugees who are probably (horror!) the dreaded Fenians. That the Fenian threat ended by the early '80s is neither here nor there. We are going to see Holmes in the middle of bitter winter Ottawa, god help us.

I ought to lap up Jeanne Larsen's Silk Road like cream. In fact I've been trying to read it since 1996, which is apparently when I bought it, in Tokyo (vaguely vaguely, a 2nd hand English bookstore in Ebisu), from someone who evidently bought it in Malaysia, going by the bookseller's stamp on the title page. I should lap it up even more now when I understand the pastiches that she's using (Ming storytellers, Buddhist chronicles, Daoist tales) plus the varying version of events these sources give to supplement the first-person narration (oral tradition in action, playing with texts, meta meta yum) plus the delight of a Karin-like gallimaufry of duelling Great Western Mothers, Jade Emperors, Guan-yin, petty bureaucrats in the Heavenly order, and uppity pearl spirits. I still find it a slog, alas.
flemmings: (Default)
I got to see my endodontist today, or *an* endodontist, but just barely. I almost didn't-- he had to leave early and his secretary kept calling me at home and not at the work number I gave them yesterday. Le sigh. I see I must get some version of a cell phone eventually. But he gave me a super-duper anti-inflammatory to take tomorrow because it may give me coffee nerves shakes and may give me hiccups (the two known side-effects) but should put paid to this bout of dental hysteria.

(In fact I was feeling much better this morning, the naproxen after three days doing what it was supposed to do, just as its stomach-rotting effects made themselves known. The cessation of pain is such a relief, it seems like a miracle.)

And I consider gloomily that there are people in Tibet perfectly ready to burn themselves alive for the sake of their country, and I can't take a simple tooth-ache.

Me toof 'urts

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011 08:23 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Less than a week after I spend $1700 on the rerouted canal, the tooth next to it starts shrieking. Dentist cannot see me till Tuesday.

One should not mix Bailey's Irish Cream with Naproxen, but IIRC that's the only thing that worked the last time this happened, and I'm doing it. This is why I first wrote 'the tooth next to eat starts shrieking'.

(no subject)

Sunday, October 16th, 2011 10:42 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Alive. Unlike last weekend, spent this weekend being social: out of town friend came here Friday and Saturday, today I went out of town. Saw pumpkins growing in a field, which is a first for me. Had two Vietnamese coffees and am yawning at 10:30 instead of being awake till 6 am as expected.

Also reading The Seven Per Cent Solution which is possibly the best Holmes pastiche encountered so far.
flemmings: (Default)

Breaking news! Melissa Scott is working on the Points series again. A novella called Point of Knives now, that happens between the two existing books, and a novel called Fairs' Point to follow! Christmas comes early this year.

It's not that I spoke to no one on this long weekend. I had daily conversations with my 90 year old neighbour across from me, and a prolonged gossip about house prices with Prof and Mrs Islamic Studies two doors up; I passed the time of day with the gardening grandmother down the street and saw a ridiculous number of young friends in passing. But in general I was antisocial. Passed up the Sunday morning zazen because my knees hurt-- my knees always hurt too much for zazen-- and decided not to go to the 'pay what you please' Chinese language classes because they require a (refundable, granted) $75 deposit and I'd just splurged on a new boombox; and for the same reason denied myself another Thai massage. And besides my eyes *hurt* and I couldn't *see* and I was feeling ill-used by the world. Zazen and massage might have helped with that; but then again, maybe not.

Nor did I paint the black keys of my stairs. Bought the paint, but my knees hurt and I couldn't *see.*
What I *did* do... )
flemmings: (Default)
1. Came out of work last night to find the back wheel flat. On a holiday weekend, oh woe. Walked it up to Curbside Bikes, amazingly still open, and asked dispiritedly what the chances were of getting it fixed this weekend. In summer fixing a flat at Curbside will take three days. 'Go talk to the mechanic, I think we can do it now.' They did. Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles...

2. Optometrist is trying the 'one eye for distance, one eye for reading' thing with me, 'and we'll correct your astigmatism while we're at it.' Astigmatism-correcting lenses make everything mid-range blurry, near *and* far. Unfortunately I usually need to see what's happening three feet in front of me, especially since that's where the computer screen is. Am not impressed with modern technology.
Read more... )
flemmings: (Default)
1. Root canal over. Anesthetic wore off hours ago. I seem not to be in cringing terrible pain. In fact the tooth hurts less than before, which has (ahem) not usually been my experience of dental surgery. Going by the endodontist's muttered remarks-- 'What's *that* doing there? *Two* posts?? Well, we can go round, I suppose'-- getting to the root through the crown was like working one's way to the burial chamber of the great pyramid of Cheops, which was protected by misleading walls, false passageways, and corridors blocked by jagnormous stones. Made me feel quite adventurous.
Read more... )
flemmings: (Default)
1) My mother and her twin sister, if they were alive, would be 99 today. This seems very odd. I don't feel nearly old enough to have a parent born a century ago. Never mind 'How terribly strange to be seventy.' Boomers find it strange enough to be 60.

My mother died decades ago but my aunt lived a few weeks after her 89th birthday, hale and healthy, until felled by a sudden massive heart attack. So Happy Birthday anyway, Mom and Aunt Helen.
Read more... )

(no subject)

Thursday, September 15th, 2011 09:10 am
flemmings: (Default)
Had a doctor's appointment Tuesday. Doctor's office is at the top of one of TO's slopes, a gradual ascent except for the bit just north of me. Biked, as ever, over east, up the hilariously misnamed Poplar Plains where the bike path is, even though the grade is milder farther west where I am. Just near the top of the slope is a park. If I make it to the park I'm in good shape and walk the remaining bit very pleased with myself, breathing heavily of course. In September with the allergies and the rattle in my chest I count myself lucky to make it halfway there.

Tuesday I'm bicycling up the hill and bicycling up the hill and waiting for the expected swimming vision and tight chest. Does not happen. It's the knees that give out first, halfway past the park. Am at a loss to explain this until I remember all that diaphragmatic breathing I've been doing since April, 'following the breath.' Buddhism: good for what ails you, evidently.

(no subject)

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011 08:48 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Happy Birthday to [livejournal.com profile] incandescens, even though it's tomorrow where she is.

I thought I wanted to read Sorcery and Cecelia but could never find a copy. Then I found a copy and read it and thought it, honestly, a bit of a mess. "How strange you should mention So-and-so." But I can find no mention of So-and-so anywhere. The afterword tells me why it's so unfocussed, but still. Such a pity. It could have been quite stunning with a little effort.

I got The Glass Castle from the Front Lawn Library. My s-i-l got it from the real one and thought it stunning. As I was fantasizing about borrowing money to rebuild the crumbling back extension of my house, the s-i-l said, 'Do that. But read The Glass Castle first.' I'm trying, I really am. But it's such a downer that I'd rather read about Irene Adler taking on Jack the Ripper instead, which is pretty far down.
flemmings: (Default)
Any year when the local paper feels compelled to run its Notable Deaths of the Year article at the start of September is a bad year. 2010 sucked too. I hope this isn't the pattern for this decade.
flemmings: (Default)
Why do I read Peter Ackroyd? Why? He gives me the fantods. But I keep on reading him, as I do not keep on reading Chatwin's equally fantoddy Viceroy of Ouidah. The 80s were very good to me but I look back on its literature, the stuff I read then and mostly in Picador, and have claustrophobic attacks.

Equally Kate Elliott posts a picture of Salisbury Plain. Which makes me understand, even more than the Niagara Peninsula, Auden's prayer:
I cannot see a plain without a shudder,
'Oh God, please, please don't ever make me live there.
More happily, a Star reporter talks about learning to ride a bicycle at age 23. I was 29 and thought that an achievement; I also had an easier time. Start by riding on grass? or worse, Queen St? Lord no. School playground on the weekend, third try. Friend held the handlebars till I had my feet on the pedals, let me go, and suddenly I was bicycling. (I didn't learn as a kid because my mom was convinced that to ride a bike was to die. Even if my dad had got his way and tried to teach us, I'd have been like the reporter: fall off once, forget it.)

But my hat is off to the Toronto Councillor who learned at 45. Go him.

(no subject)

Friday, August 26th, 2011 07:53 pm
flemmings: (Default)
New York, New Jersey, Maryland, DW peeps-- stay safe and dry. Though I see the Weather Network is forecasting 'rain, at times heavy' for Sunday in NYC. For this you close the subway?
flemmings: (Default)
How odd. I didn't *like* Jack Layton-- the man who gave us Stephen Harper? No way-- but I can't imagine what life will be like without him. Probably because I can't remember what the NDP was like before he became its head, during the days of the Chretien-Martin hegemony. It seems we have no choice now but to become a two-party system, and the Liberals currently being as they are, that means a one-party system. Which is what the Chretien-Martin hegemony was too, but at least it was more-or-less the right party.

I'm also not used to politicians in office dying. It feels most peculiar.

Woe is me

Friday, August 19th, 2011 09:22 am
flemmings: (Default)
Whoever told me there were 25 volumes of FMA lied like a rug. There are 28, and I must wait yet a while to discover what happens. I could order it in Japanese, I suppose, but money is currently being funneled into Teeth, the perpetual bugbear. How a twenty year old root canal can develop an infection of the bone, I do not know, but it has and I suffer, as Catullus said. I see the specialist in September to find out whether they must redo the whole operation. 'We wouldn't take the crown off, just drill through it.' This sounds like my notion of a really bad idea.

Also I find Donald Thomas' Holmes pastiches something less than satisfactory. Most people's Holmes pastiches are less than satisfactory, by me, even Ronald Knox's.
flemmings: (Default)
Lost my keys today. They were there when I unlocked my bike from the chiropractor's and were not there five minutes later when I arrived home. Obviously worked their way out of my shirt pocket, just as the replacement keys did that afternoon, but I didn't hear them go SPLAT on the concrete like the replacements. Retraced my route immediately but didn't see them. If anyone found them they probably kept them for the Tiffany key chain. Alas my keys, alas my Tiffany key chain; must now rely on the Sanzou key chain (not easy to misplace, one virtue) and make a copy of my copy key in case I lose that.
Cut for Japan dreams )

(no subject)

Saturday, August 13th, 2011 08:42 pm
flemmings: (Default)
I *said* I hated that luxury condo at Bedford and Bloor, and here's another reason why. Eyesore *and* health hazard.

Though a coworker told me that once he was passing the place-- which advertised itself as being 'for curators, scholars, musicians and kings' to justify the 2 million price tag on its units-- and saw a stooped old guy shuffling past, wearing only pyjamas, with a grubby carrier bag dangling from his hand. Ah the ironic contrast between rich and poor in this town-- until the guy went to the entrance and key-coded himself in. A resident, in fact.
flemmings: (Default)
There's a nice little street near me, Olive Ave, that is a kind of neighbourhood to itself. Has been having street parties for 20 years, long before anyone else thought of such things. I used to think it rather bare and forlorn in the greenery department, but time has taken care of that-- the trees are now tall enough, if nothing like as thick and umbrageous as those on Palmerston Gardens a block north. So now I walk along it on my exercise strolls and enjoy its cozy ambience.

There's another reason: it has the best lawn books in the neighbourhood. Today I came across a selection literally laid out on the lawn, not stacked in boxes as is the usual custom. This display method saves wear and tear on the books, because natch people tumble the boxed books around and bend pages and curl covers and so on. And I'm not supposed to pick up any more books, but---
I cannot pass up free books )

Leisure

Saturday, July 30th, 2011 10:13 am
flemmings: (Default)
Ahh, long weekend, stuck inside waiting for the Water Meter Man to move my water meter. ('Our first available morning appointment is July 30' because it's the Saturday of a long weekend, a fact that didn't occur to me back in mid-June.) No matter. I have The Rivers of London and 100 Demons 20, which arrived yesterday a week ahead of expectation: thank you Escargot Canada and not-yet-o-Bon-ified Japan PO.

100 Demons feels strangely like an artifact from another lifetime ie last November when I was, evidently, someone else. Have had a small anxiety lately about whether I can still read Japanese (literally, can I read it; and psychically, will I understand it even if I do?) Yes, it seems, I can, though I'm getting resigned to the 'use it or lose it'-ness of Japanese, and the need for constant visual reinforcement to stop kanji and vocab that I've known for decades from vanishing from the memory banks. Also that certain sentences in Ima Ichiko will make no sense at all on a first, second or even third reading-- but that's a given of Ima Ichiko's.
The aging brane )

(no subject)

Friday, July 22nd, 2011 07:59 am
flemmings: (Default)
What online media do, she says disapprovingly, is spread panic. Yes it was hot yesterday. Yes it was 38C/ 100F. Does that merit screaming about Toronto's hottest day EVAR!!! and cooking dinner on car hoods? I do not think so. It was 100F often in my childhood. Ah, says the weather agency wisely, but those measurements were downtown, not at the airport, and downtown holds heat and the measuring agency moved around whereas Pearson's weather agency has been in the same spot since 1937. Yes, and? I live downtown. It gets to be 100F on occasion. It was also, pace the scary humidex warnings, a dry 100F with a wind, and rather invigorating. One window AC flying low kept my whole house quite pleasant. I have met more unbearable 24C/ 75Fs, with mug and unmoving air and grey pollution.

And it was only the *fourth* hottest day on record at Pearson, so nyahh.

('Like Osaka, isn't it?' said the European dad whose Japanese-kei wife took him there one traumatizing summer. Yes, rather; but we're a lot greener than Osaka.)

(no subject)

Friday, July 15th, 2011 09:57 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Some hours after my eye operation I went to the corner store for sundries, like Montreal bagels, and came home. Around 6 I discovered that my wallet was missing from the backpack. Cue panic stations )

(no subject)

Thursday, July 7th, 2011 10:13 pm
flemmings: (Default)
The weeks of summer are ineffably dull. I work. I eat dinner. I go for a walk. Maybe I read a little. I have a shower. I turn on the fan and go to bed. And then I do the same thing next day. Not quite as bad as Takuboku--
Working, working
But no joy in life.
Still staring emptily
at empty hands
--but close.

(no subject)

Monday, June 27th, 2011 06:54 pm
flemmings: (Default)
My younger brother got married in December '88, in a Catholic service in a Catholic church. The music was all Mozart, and very nice too. Except I'd been doing intensive Japanese studies that fall-- literature (even though in translation), language, film. Since September my mind had been in some misty grey brown place, Buddhist Japan of the medieval eras, black and white Japan of the 50s & 60s directors. I felt oddly odd out of sync with what should have been very familiar territory-- the religion and architecture of my childhood and the classical music of my 30s. It all seemed a little... overdone. Too many colours; and of course, too many notes.

This apropos of having gone to a Taizé service last night to see how Anglicans do the meditation thing. They 'invite' the bell, which is nicely Buddhist. They also emphasize that you're nobody till Somebody loves you, which er well is the reverse of the Buddhism I've been reading lately, for sure. I might have been more appreciative if I hadn't discovered, half an hour before, that the antibiotic drops I'd been taking pre- and post-op expired in March 2011, which cataracted me had read as 2012.
Alarums and excursions )

Cataracts

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011 05:48 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Well, *that* was the essence of nothing at all. Supposed to take fifteen minutes; I'd be surprised if it was ten. Unlike my aged neighbour, I still think it's worse than the dentist, but then she was well-sedated and not there, and I... was not, and was. Interesting LSD colour effects and no pain, but the unavoidable thought of what was going on rendered the experience less than pleasurable.

(Am typing with one eye closed, because I'm supposed to stay off the net today so as not to upset the light sensitive operated eye. Not that hard, but am glad I'm still bi-ocular. Must also avoid lifting more than five pounds/ 2.5 kilos, meaning the bicycle is now getting soaked in the rain, being locked to the back stairs up which I may not lift it for ten days. Poor Bikos.)

(no subject)

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011 10:33 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Seeing my desire to be rich, I breathe in
Recognizing the impermanence of riches, I breathe out


goes rather oddly with checking my online trading account and rejoicing at having made $1500 in a single day. (On paper, while on paper I lost $350 on my other stock.) However, messing about with penny stocks does distract the mind from the approaching operation. When that's over I'll be back to working at mindfulness and detachment again, trusting that they and not penny stocks will get me through whatever the next crisis is.

Lost days

Thursday, June 16th, 2011 08:55 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Err well. It has been a week. A pity I remember nothing about it. Reading Russell all week, not ever quite enjoying it but not disliking it enough to read anything else.
My unremarkable days )
flemmings: (Default)
Stupid Facebook and its word limit. Reposted here.

Someone asked Thich Nhat Hanh what the realm of the hungry ghosts is like. (Preta, right? or gaki in Japanese: swollen- bellied thin-necked beings, whose desires torment them constantly, but can never be satisfied.) He answered: 'America.'

Trying to find actual *news* on the webpage of the GlobbyMail-- 'Canada's national newspaper' (sic)-- amid the barrage of articles on stocks, bonds, trading tips, commodities to watch out for, what kind of car to buy, the best hotels in New York, unknown getaways in the South Seas, nado nado, I'm inclined to agree. Shall still go on buying lottery tickets, of course.

("In addition to hunger, Pretas suffer from immoderate heat and cold; they find that even the moon scorches them in the summer, while the sun freezes them in the winter." Sounds like me, yup.)

I fail at mindfulness

Saturday, June 11th, 2011 05:12 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Bookfast lasted about as long as one might expect ie I finished my Mary Russell on Monday evening, turned to the book pile, couldn't face Ackroyd, couldn't face Chatwin, couldn't face anything serious when it's hot and muggy and they're going to open up my eye in two weeks Aaaaaaunghhh, and Tuesday morning bought the next Mary Russell mystery. Which was unreadable. So went to library and got the Russell with all the back story in it. Have been reading that in these latter blinded days. (I mean everyone is blinded, not just me. Allergies and pollens and humidity gives universal gunk in eyes. Mine is just compounded by contacts and cataracts.)

Next month. Maybe.
flemmings: (Default)
Some years back my s-i-l took the plastic swimming pool her grandkids played in before they became gigantic male things (one of whom trimmed my hedge for me on the holiday weekend-- gigantic maleness has its uses though I think I may actually be at least as tall as he is), filled it with earth and planted lettuce. This was cool. These last years she's been gardening at the cottage, not here, so no more lettuce. But I thought 'Hey, *I* could do it' (non-gardening non-outdoor me with the iffy neck and shoulder nerves, yes?) Nothing ventured...
When Adam delved )

(no subject)

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011 06:24 pm
flemmings: (Default)
Mindfulness and meditation and meds have sweetened my temper considerably these last months. (I shall have a post some day about the Buddhist practice of metta, not to be confused with meta, though I think I do confuse it with 'God bless Mummy and Daddy and Gran and Teddy,' which it so much resembles.) But periodically something returns me to my wrathful howling self, and it happened today.

Garbage day. I neglected to bring the green bins in the minute they were emptied. One must bring the green bins in the minute they are emptied or else you will return from work at five pm to find that some public-spirited dog walker has stooped and scooped and bagged its canine's poop--- and deposited it in *your* green bin to sit in the 33C/ 91F heat and stink it up for the next week.

(no subject)

Saturday, June 4th, 2011 05:37 pm
flemmings: (Default)
I think I'm coming round to the idea that cataract surgery will be a *good* thing. 'You won't be crippled,' K said cheerfully to my preemptive moaning about the post-op days, 'you'll be blurred.' Well, I'm blurred already; surgery can't make it worse. This apropos of a Bach cantata recital I was going to tonight. Checked the time again online, only to discover it's tomorrow when I, for the first time in months, am sitting a small friend who's deemed too small to attend her sister's dance recital. The sign I saw a week ago doubtless said 'next Sunday', but blurry me read it as Saturday. Pfui.

So shall stay home and try to make more progress with The Bee-keeper's Apprentice, which mysteriously is not the fast romp a Holmes-involving story should be.

Old and new Toronto

Sunday, May 29th, 2011 10:56 am
flemmings: (Default)
Less ambitious this year than last, and with much worse weather, I intended to keep my Doors Open viewing to a church and a synagogue only. There's also a Buddhist temple very close to my house, but I read a bit on the background of the sect that runs it, and um no I think not. Doctrinal splits are not what I'm in this for.

So yesterday I'm tooling along the tree-lined Annex streets near where I grew up, and there by the Women's Art Association is a book sale. Good books, three for $5. The woman tempted me and I did buy, and then went to look at the house because that too was part of the tour, and of course normally I'd never go into a place like that. In all the years I've walked past it, starting with high school, I've never known if it's a club or a gallery, and my innate 'they don't want me here' mental reflex works to keep me from going in and asking.
It's a bit of both )
flemmings: (Default)
1. I've been cooking more and eating out less. It's very satisfying even when simple. Things like a poached egg on caraway rye bread spread with avocado; a few grinds of the pepper mill, a sprinkle of sea salt, and voila: Heaven. Or my stir fries, now I've learned how to handle the garlic (mash don't chop, fry with the ginger, then remove. Garlic dislikes me intensely.) Broccoli, mushrooms, celery, bok choy, and tofu. I have to freeze it almost immediately or else I'd eat a pot at a sitting.

But the downside of all this is dishes. Every day there are dishes. Somehow in the last fifteen years I've never had dishes in this quantity. I must practise daily Buddhist mindfulness and treat the dishes as an opportunity to wash dishes, much as I've sort of managed to treat flossing my teeth as an exercise in flossing teeth: the thing done for its own sake and not for the end goal. The end goal isn't worth it, really, so one dismisses that aspect and just does the thing itself.

I'd still love a dishwasher. In a renovated kitchen. With an attached powder room. In the rebuilt mudroom. Will be a while before the impermanence of downstairs toilets leads me to give up the dream of having one.

2. So I've been reading books on Buddhism for almost three months now. So far I respond best to the ones by easterners. The westerners talk as if they're selling something, and there's an awful lot of Self present for a religion that's all about the non-existence of the Self. There's no Self in the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, just a serene 'this is how it works.' Granted, the Dalai Lama is a bad place to start: he's teaching the graduate course, and a lot of the BA basics I got from westerners. Still.

Among the western examples is something called Just Add Buddha! subtitled 'Quick Buddhist Solutions for Hellish Bosses, Traffic Jams, Stubborn Spouses, and Other Annoyances of Everyday Life.' His solution for hellish bosses is to imagine yourself as your boss' mother, observing your little boy having a tantrum. 'You can't truly stay angry at toddlers. They're too puny and helpless. They lack a sense of their own failings.' Well maybe. But you can give them time outs until they cool off, and you can't do that with a screaming irrational adult.

His solution for barking dogs is to imagine you are Kanzeon 'the bodhisattva who hears the cries of the world'. 'You are to the barking dog as Kanzeon is to you: a being of enormous compassion and inconceivable powers.' This is bad enough. But worse: when you find yourself in times of trouble, follow the lead of the Lotus Sutra and call on the Bodhisattva:
repeat these words...

Eyes of compassion, observing sentient beings, assemble an immeasurable ocean of blessings

...And if you're really in trouble, don't worry about the whole of the verse, just cry "Kanzeon!" and feel comforted.
And no I say no I can't no. Guanyin maybe, Chenrezig or Kwanum or Avalokiteshvara if it wasn't such a mouthful. But Kanzeon to me is firmly and unmovably an ijiwaru-ppoi hermaphrodite who wears too much lipstick, and that's that.

3) My local library renovated and half its books disappeared, or so it seems. Luckily everything I want is at the branch down the street from work, even if half of it doesn't circulate. (The Judith Merrill collection buys *everything* SFF so nobody else has to, but it's a reference library. A pain.) To round out my DWJ reading I went there and snagged an armful of volumes I'd never heard of, plus those missing Brusts. Plowed through the Brusts doggedly and then turned to dessert. Dessert was a disappointment.

A Sudden Wild Magic was... odd. Didn't sound like her at all. The three stories in Shopping for a Spell touched that same puzzling thing I noticed in Black Maria: extreme paralysis in the face of social intruders and appalling behaviour. Granted a certain kind of Canadian niceness dislikes telling people to get out, we're still capable of saying no on occasion. DWJ's people don't say no. They are wet and a weed and ultimately irritating.

The stories in Unexpected Magic were a slog to start but got steadily better. I very much liked Everard's Ride. And loved the moment in Little Dot where the cat is sleeping happily on the guy's lap, 'and then, suddenly, there was this huge human woman's voice screaming "Len Iggmy son of Trey, la moor Tay Una!"' ie Gli enigmi sono tre, la morte una!

That in fact is how I first met Turandot, in a now vanished dress shop on Bloor Street whose BGM came from the classical radio station that was, just then, playing an ad for the Canadian Uproar sorry pardon Opera's fall season. It turned out to be the Apocalypse Now version (heads on poles, dirty mist, generic peasants as the population of Peking) and confirmed me as a fan for life.

Profile

flemmings: (Default)
flemmings

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags