flemmings | (no subject)

Am currently having pre-trip pre-flying jitters in the form of three year old tantrumming about having to Dress Like A Gurrl.

I don't like dressing markedly!female because it's completely unnatural for me. Not that I wander about in jeans and wife-beaters and tattoos ordinarily, or ever, but I don't dress up. I hate dressing up. I hate it mostly because good clothes for women can only be used on good occasions which in my case I have not got, and why am I buying all this useless drycleanable stuff that I'll never wear again when if I was a guy I could wear a good suit that would come in handy for dinners out and opera and funerals and stuff like that. The conspicuous consumption aspect of the whole thing pisses me royally. There needs to be some recognizable form of Dyke-wear for formal occasions. 'Will Moddom be dressing straight or gay? Gay? Then may I suggest the morning coat ensemble with silver lamé combat boots?'

Of course the worst of good clothes is good shoes. I can't wear good shoes. My feet are swollen and deformed with toes that point where they shouldn't. High heels, sandals, pretty little footwear: I can't do that any more. Man am I tempted to wear my sleeveless black dress and my faux-silk white overtop and my BIG CLUMPING ORTHOPEDIC BLACK LACEUP SHOES. That'd show them. (In the event I shall be wearing Tender Tootsie slippers- if my feet don't swell even more- and taking cabs.)

(I should have kept my grandmother's dresses and not let my younger brother walk off with them. They were large, flowing, comfortable, made in France of hand-made lace, and no one could even guess what shoes you had on underneath the skirt because it was so long. She was 2" taller than me in her heels. So nah.)

Grah. More gin. And more Cent Demons, because it's only $13 more to order two volumes from France than to order one volume from Montreal. $27 for a single volume once shipping's factored in? That's more than Kikiwai charges for Japanese manga. Heee doi.

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You're trying to make me wet myself at work, aren't you?

Well, I hoped someone would find it funny. ^_^ Though morning coats are cool. I want one for me.

The abomination that is the separate blouse and skirt ensemble is... abominable. I know it's the same principle as shirt and pants but pants can be tailored to accommodate hips and no waist, and vests or jackets hide the worst of the short-waisteds' lack of torso. All are glaringly obvious with the female suit. Men's suit jackets are usually buttoned but I've rarely seen a woman's done up, and certainly not buttoned as high.

Pantsuits are it, if only because the top can be lenthened to maintain proportions. I'll be wearing a pant-skirt thing, probably much less dressy than yours.

(People wear running pants to the opera here. We have no class.)

Coming up briefly for air -- Friday dinner is not that formal. As long as no one shows up in sweatpants I don't think anyone will care too much. Don't worry about it. ^__^

But we will be suRROUNded by thin and ELegant Chinese WOMen wearing SILK. Quel cauchemar, my dear- one I've actually had. I must wear a little bit of silk too, just to show that I understand its importance, even though I have no jewelry to go with it. (It's drag for me, really and truly. I can only try to mimic what the real women do, knowing I do it badly.)