Had To Happen

[flemmings]

Discworld fic. Vetinari/ Vimes, what else. And probably done before by someone else, because it's so obvious when you think about it.

ETA: Why does rich text format have to be called rich text format? Now I have a Word file called vetinari rolling on the floor. Laughing, presumably.

Vimes came at his summons but clearly under protest. It was clear because the first thing he did was protest: "It's bloody 2 a.m. Do you never go to bed?"

"No."

"Well, if you'd-- Wait. What? No? You don't sleep?"

"Of course I sleep. I'm not a vampire."

Vimes' suddenly blank expression said it all.

"Yes, I'm quite sure, thank you, Vimes. For various reasons of my own I find it preferable to sleep at my desk. Now, about this report of yours---"

"What reasons?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What reason can you possibly have for not living like other people? Does it add to your alertness? Your acuity? Or just your legend? 'The Unsleeping Master of Ankh-Morpork'? 'He Plots While His City Slumbers'? Something like that, is it, sir?"

"My, my. You do have your dander up, Commander. Is this mutiny?"

"No." The syllable dropped between them like a challenger's gauntlet.

Vetinari sat back in his chair and sighed. It was possible to push people too far. Circumstances and Vetinari together seemed to have done that now to Vimes.

"Do you remember," he said, "once, a long time ago, I gave you a piece of advice? Don't bother answering: I'm sure you forgot it as soon as you were out the door. But you asked me if I really believed what I said, about the endless petty evil of the human race. And when I said yes of course, there's nothing else one reasonably can believe, you asked why I still got out of bed in the morning?"

"Yes," Vimes said slowly. "And you didn't answer me."

"Naturally not. But that's why I find it preferable to sleep at my desk.

Comments

[rasetsunyo.livejournal.com]

Squee! Vetinari logic!

[tammylee.livejournal.com]

Hee! Very nice.

[mauvecloud.livejournal.com]

Wan! It is very nice. It is only obvious after someone has written it for me to read. That's why it needed to be written. Thank you!

My brain not working properly at the moment, so let me know if this makes sense: Could it be that Vetinari abandoned bed soon after Vimes asked that question ("And you still get out of bed in the morning?")?

Now I have a Word file called vetinari rolling on the floor. Laughing, presumably.

And yeah, brain also begs explanation of this...

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

I think Vetinari may have abandoned bed a long time ago. I mean yes, the import of the original passage was that Vetinari not only doesn't despair the way Vimes would in the face of his bleak worldview, he doesn't even understand Vimes' emotion. But I notice that Vetinari never seems to go to bed either, which may be because getting out of it to deal with the petty evil of humanity *is* difficult, even for him.

As for the other, there it is at the bottom of my screen: vetinari.rtf

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Err- speaking of bed, why are none of you Singaporeans in it at this hour?

[mauvecloud.livejournal.com]

I am a slacker postdoc fellow who left early today, oops, yesterday (early is before midnight) to take up a booty call :D

[Oh, I must mention that I usually clock in after 12 noon unless there are meetings or talks. The joys of non-teaching positions!]

[incandescens]

That is great.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Pratchett-style is surprisingly easy to write. I realize now that half the bloggers of my acquaintance do it without even trying. Never in the course of human history have so many owed so much to so few, or not since the King James Version style... went out of style.

(And there, see? I just did it myself.)