"The French hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles"

[flemmings]

I have no hormones left to rage, was my understanding of the process, but they seem to be raging nonetheless. Sadness.

"We met this woman from Montreal," my American housemates in Tokyo said one day. "She really hated Americans. Really hated Americans. Do *you* hate Americans?"

When I'd recovered from my moment's shock I said, "I'm from Toronto, so if I did I wouldn't tell you." I could have been more specific, because some Torontonians are quite upfront on these things- it varies by cultural background- but one must simplify for the layperson.

Of course what I really wanted to say was an irritated "You bet. They ask asshole questions like 'do you hate Americans?'" But I'm Torontonian- that kind of Torontonian- and I was simply incapable of doing it.

Americans are quite capable of doing it. I see them doing it today all over livejournal. I'm half-tempted to weigh in, because some of the thinking is so very *wrong*. Then I remember I'm Torontonian and don't do things like that- even if I occasionally wish I was from Montreal and did- and the people I admire don't either.

So sigh, shrug, Ils sont fous, ces Américains.' (toc toc)

Comments

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

But the People To The South Of Me insist that one must be honest and upfront in one's opinions, and welcoming of confrontation, heated debate, and a general courtroom atmosphere. The American influence as ever threatens the national Canadian character. Maybe instead of mandatory Canadian content we should have mandatory non-expression of opinion days, just for practice.

[rasetsunyo.livejournal.com]

What happens when one genuinely has no opinion on something?

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Fake it for politeness' sake, as one does with orgasm.

The notion that someone has no opinion on something, or even worse, most things, is hard for westerners to get their heads around. We have opinions by reflex, as we breathe, and not having them feels to us like being half-alive.

Seriously, this was a cultural point I had to teach my Japanese students. Casual conversational overtures in English usually involve asking what people think about something, which my Japanese students generally found impossible to answer because in fact they had no strong personal opinion about whatever it might be. Similar overtures in Japanese usually involve statements no one can disagree with, that you agree with several times over, and this is the bulk of conversation. English conversation probably feels like a minefield for the Japanese, and Japanese conversation is certainly like a meal without salt for westerners.

[i-am-zan.livejournal.com]

Its the aloofness thing again. I was just saying to someone else elsewhere that many thought me aloof and snobby even (when I first arrived in England) because I never said anything. Well not least that part of it came from not understanding dialect/accents but a lot of it just sounded like mindless gossip and bitching to me and I couldn't get my head round "Well if they don't like what/who/how ever" WHY? talk about it?

Its not to say that we don't gripe and gossip we do, but its less a social thing and very much a private thing and all comically hush-hush.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

its less a social thing and very much a private thing and all comically hush-hush.

Ah-hah. That exists in Secret Japan as well, because I kept being told by other gaijin that yes indeed, the ever-smiling Japanese will happily bitch about their miserable lives to stray foreigners, who don't count. They never did it to me, which made me feel unloved, until I realized that the gaijin who got confided to were ones who didn't speak much Japanese and couldn't rat on the bitcher to her mother-in-law or neighbours, supposing she knew the bitcher's m-i-l or neighbours, which she didn't but she *might* so better safe than sorry.

But here, indeed, chronic complaining is a social-bonding ritual. And of course it's a bit the sacredness of opinion too: if you feel something strongly you must express your feelings or you're not being honest. Even if the strong feelings are about 'how can people slash Gojou and Sanzou?' or rather 'how can people slash Gojou and Sanzou??!!' I recognize the reflex in myself: these people are wrong wrong wrong and it's my moral duty to point out that fact out. There are drawbacks to a strong puritan Christian tradition in one's cultural make-up.