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On a roll here
More Waley:
Green, green,
The grass by the river-bank.
Thick, thick,
The willow trees in the garden.
Sad, sad,
The lady in the tower.
White, white,
Sitting at the casement window.
Fair, fair,
Her red-powdered face
Small, small,
She puts out her pale hand.
Once she was a dancing-house girl,
Now she is a wandering man's wife.
The wandering man went, but did not return.
It is hard alone to keep an empty bed.
"...from a series known as the Nineteen Pieces of Old Poetry. Some have been attributed to Mei Sheng (first century BC) and one to Fu I (first century AD. They are manifestly not all by the same hand nor of the same date."
I could have sworn Waley includes an anecdote about Pound's reaction to his translations, which IIRC came down to Ur doing it wrong. I can't find it now, but evidently Pound decided to do it right. Alas that he should decide to call this poem The Beautiful Toilet. Pejorative drift bit Shakespeare's ass ('the breath that from my mistress reeks' was not a criticism of his mistress' breath), why not Pound's?
Blue, blue is the grass about the river
And the willows have overfilled the close garden.
And within, the mistress, in the midmost of her youth,
White, white of face, hesitates, passing the door.
Slender, she puts forth a slender hand;
And she was a courtezan in the old days,
And she has married a sot,
Who now goes drunkenly out
And leaves her too much alone.
Mhh- which is a good English poem. But I find I liked it better before than I do now, because now Waley's version seems preferable.
The Old Friend guys again:
Green, green,
The grass by the river-bank.
Thick, thick,
The willow trees in the garden.
Sad, sad,
The lady in the tower.
White, white,
Sitting at the casement window.
Fair, fair,
Her red-powdered face
Small, small,
She puts out her pale hand.
Once she was a dancing-house girl,
Now she is a wandering man's wife.
The wandering man went, but did not return.
It is hard alone to keep an empty bed.
"...from a series known as the Nineteen Pieces of Old Poetry. Some have been attributed to Mei Sheng (first century BC) and one to Fu I (first century AD. They are manifestly not all by the same hand nor of the same date."
I could have sworn Waley includes an anecdote about Pound's reaction to his translations, which IIRC came down to Ur doing it wrong. I can't find it now, but evidently Pound decided to do it right. Alas that he should decide to call this poem The Beautiful Toilet. Pejorative drift bit Shakespeare's ass ('the breath that from my mistress reeks' was not a criticism of his mistress' breath), why not Pound's?
Blue, blue is the grass about the river
And the willows have overfilled the close garden.
And within, the mistress, in the midmost of her youth,
White, white of face, hesitates, passing the door.
Slender, she puts forth a slender hand;
And she was a courtezan in the old days,
And she has married a sot,
Who now goes drunkenly out
And leaves her too much alone.
Mhh- which is a good English poem. But I find I liked it better before than I do now, because now Waley's version seems preferable.
The Old Friend guys again:
Waley had a superb knowledge of Mandarin but the ear of a second-string English Romantic. Glorious old Ezra- in Cathay, at least- was battling with the double opacity of two languages he didn't know (J note: Chinese and Japanese, in this case; I think he was working from a double translation, Chinese-> Japanese-> Fenollosa's English), plus a suspect theory about the Chinese ideogram, plus the fact that everything had a tendency to turn out Pound rather than "Rihaku" (J- Li Bai in Japanese).An argument against having poets translate poetry, as having writers translate prose, or even edit it. Because the devil is always there, whispering 'now how can I make this *mine*?'
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asdjllfl;''s;llkd;;
Notwithstanding the unfortunate title, Pound's translation does sound a little less awkward, but I prefer Waley's version which doesn't seem to need to EXPLAIN IT ALL.
Need to get back to home computer which is Chinese-character enabled to google the first line (also the name of a popular song some years ago, IIRC)
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This poem is the second in the "19 Ancient Poems" series.
Original:
青青河畔草 鬱鬱園中柳
盈盈樓上女 皎皎當窗牖
娥娥紅粉妝 纖纖出素手
昔為倡家女 今為蕩子夫
蕩子行不歸 空床難獨守
I think it's obvious that Waley's is much, much more faithful. I still like Pound's though.
Yet another translation, this one by Herbert Giles:
Green grows the grass upon the bank
The willow-shoots are long and lank;
A lady in a glistening gown
Opens the casement and looks down
The roses on her cheek blush bright,
Her rounded arm is dazzling white;
A singing-girl in early life,
And now a careless roué’s wife...
Ah, if he does not mind his own,
He’ll find some day the bird has flown!
Very Victorian. D:
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There's another poem that begins with the same line, this time from the Han Yuefu (http://www.cgcmall.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=b00poyf).
青青河畔草 綿綿思遠道
遠道不可思 夙昔夢見之
夢見在我旁 忽覺在他鄉
他鄉各異縣 輾轉不相見
枯桑知天風 海水知天寒
入門各自媚 誰肯相為言
客從遠方來 遺我雙鯉魚
呼兒烹鯉魚 中有尺素書
長跪讀素書 書中竟何如
上言加餐食 下言長相憶
Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a free-domain translation. My school library has a copy though, I'll check it out when school starts.
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Waley's is much, much more faithful.
Very true. Pound seems compelled to inform us that the 荡子 is inebriate in his waywardness.
IMHO the husband has wandered into the arms of his wife's former professional colleagues - perhaps at the same place where he was deceived or coerced into marrying her - and he could be doing so in cold sobriety.
I think I like Giles' translation best, though :D
Thanks for the other poem (a rather different tone)! 张汝逍's shorter one appears to be the better known.
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Giles seems to indicate the problems of rhyming your translation, though, since he needs to invent that glistening gown to provide himself with one. Also, 'long and lank' gives me the opposite impression of 鬱- spindly little things that can barely stand up by themselves. (I see that neither Waley nor Pound manages all the impressions I have associated with 鬱. But my associations are a foreign reader's; maybe it *is* just a word meaning thick to you?)
I'm assuming the nursery rhyme lilt of his version does in English what the repeated words do in Chinese? Just that repetition per se feels more folk song to me- Green, green, it's green they say/ On the far side of the hill or Two, two the lily-white boys.
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Giles is very Victorian indeed- his images feel Tennysonian Idylls of the King-ish. Note the careful avoidance of the fact that the lady is painted.
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Yes, earlier poems do seem to have more of a folksy song-like lilt because of the repetition. But I don't find it twee, there's no impression of childishness to make me think of nursery rhymes. I think I just instinctively recoil from Giles' easy rhymes, they just seem too... easy.
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He evokes a heavy curtain of closely gathered hanging willows (maybe not shoots, but one supposes the line needed to scan), barely stirring in the oppressively still night as the lady appears gleaming (皎, frequently used to describe the moon), perhaps due to the illumination of her (unmentioned) garments without which it would be awkward for her to appear at her casement (窗牖, literary form of 窗). Perhaps he was thinking of Keats.
the nursery rhyme lilt of his version does in English what the repeated words do in Chinese?
Um, I'm not learned enough to comment about the significance of the Chinese word repetition, but for me the translation captures the simplicity of the original's tone, though not quite its sadness. I feel that the last line refers to the sorrow of the lady at her husband's absence, rather than a warning of her own impending flight - but I suppose Giles has chosen to interpret it as such.
(although his Victorian "round arm" contrasts with the Chinese beauty's slim unadorned hand)
Er - the site I checked out has 今为荡子妇 (wife), rather than 夫 (husband) as above - the last word referring to the unfortunate heroine of the poem rather than her profligate husband.
But I am babbling and should stop now.
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Enh? What does that do to the sense of the lines? 'Once she was a singsong girl, now *she* is a depraved wastrel'? So who's the roue who goes out and doesn't come back in the next line?
(Sudden vision of Obladi-obladah's reversal- "Molly lets the children lend a hand; Desmond sits at home and does his pretty face, and in the evening he's still singing with the band.'
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(ahaha exactly.)