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Christ was betrayed on a Thursday too. Just sayin'
Weather network, you said it would be 17 last night. It was 20. You lied to me. (Why yes, there's a difference between 68 and 63, which would be tedious to explain to the layman.) You are full of fail.
But not as full as myself, alas.
I go to the kitchen to get my morning PepsiTM, which is in a box that's sellotaped shut, again for reasons it would be tedious to go into. My guess is it's been sellotaped by an enthusiastic young male store employee, because it's beyond the abilities of this impatient aging female nanny to prise off. I cut the box open with my kitchen knife, stab hack. I then: put the two cans I punctured with the knifetip into the sink before they can leak all over the floor; think 'What a waste of two cans of Pepsi'; think 'I could drain them into a glass and drink them that way' and pat me on the back for my brilliance; put them slit down over two glasses; think 'They're draining very slowly, I'll have to wait forever for my Pepsi' ohh woe; make the hole in one larger; watch as it still drains slowly; think at long last 'You know if you took off the tab and emptied it into the glass from the top the way it was designed to do, it would go faster.'
I'm almost afraid to go into work today. Fortunately I'm with the pre-schoolers who can tell me (and will) if I do things like give milk to the kid who comes out in red welt rashes if she drinks milk.
Shoutout to lux: for future reference, you can get into Canada by marrying a Canadian. We come in a wide array of designer colours and two basic models. You are free to marry the model of your choice and if you ask me if I still can't belive that, the answer is yes. Since the way it went through, as I saw it, was something like-
Mainstream society: Yes but not 'marriage'.
Paul Martin: Marriage.
Mainstream society: Meh. Whatever.
It's the 'whatever' part that makes me blink. Never underestimate a Canadian's ability not to be terribly interested in anything outside their own particular region. But still.
But not as full as myself, alas.
I go to the kitchen to get my morning PepsiTM, which is in a box that's sellotaped shut, again for reasons it would be tedious to go into. My guess is it's been sellotaped by an enthusiastic young male store employee, because it's beyond the abilities of this impatient aging female nanny to prise off. I cut the box open with my kitchen knife, stab hack. I then: put the two cans I punctured with the knifetip into the sink before they can leak all over the floor; think 'What a waste of two cans of Pepsi'; think 'I could drain them into a glass and drink them that way' and pat me on the back for my brilliance; put them slit down over two glasses; think 'They're draining very slowly, I'll have to wait forever for my Pepsi' ohh woe; make the hole in one larger; watch as it still drains slowly; think at long last 'You know if you took off the tab and emptied it into the glass from the top the way it was designed to do, it would go faster.'
I'm almost afraid to go into work today. Fortunately I'm with the pre-schoolers who can tell me (and will) if I do things like give milk to the kid who comes out in red welt rashes if she drinks milk.
Shoutout to lux: for future reference, you can get into Canada by marrying a Canadian. We come in a wide array of designer colours and two basic models. You are free to marry the model of your choice and if you ask me if I still can't belive that, the answer is yes. Since the way it went through, as I saw it, was something like-
Mainstream society: Yes but not 'marriage'.
Paul Martin: Marriage.
Mainstream society: Meh. Whatever.
It's the 'whatever' part that makes me blink. Never underestimate a Canadian's ability not to be terribly interested in anything outside their own particular region. But still.
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Never underestimate a Canadian's ability not to be terribly interested in anything outside their own particular region
So very true.
The way Canada seems to be cut up: BC, The Prairies (AB, SK, ...sometimes MB they're practically Easterners you know), Ontario (Toronto & surroundings... whaddya mean it's not the capital of Canada?), Quebec, those provinces where people talk funny (nooo, not Quebec), Up North.
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I hope you're being totally facetious. Because the reason the rest of ON hates Toronto is precisely the notion that ON = Toronto. Torontonians are very aware that there's a province out there (that our taxes support and that hates us and that only comes one colour which is the colour of their bread and that Is Not Like Us. It says Eh. Torontonians don't say Eh.) Equally, never underestimate a Canadian's ability to laother their nearest neighbour.
Cabnada by us is: Batshit insane (green), Batshit insane (American red), The Prairie Twins, Us, Les Mecs-la, Les Guys There, Halifax and Surrounding Regions, Little Green Dot, Nfld and the Outports and the Great Big Hunka Rock, Up There, Also Up There, Up There in the funny script.
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It's early morning until about... eleven thirty. Then I eat lunch and it's magically afternoon!
There's no such thing as morning that isn't early. =p
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Equally, never underestimate a Canadian's ability to laother their nearest neighbour.
Oh yes. Very much so. There's a huge US vs. THEM OVER THERE mentality that happens even at a neighbourhood level. And a huge amount of apathy if something has happened to THEM OVER THERE.
Heh, the best example I have is my dad. He was a devout Albertan (that's a religion isn't it?) then moved to BC. Now when I visit he goes off about the loud, fast driving, monied Albertans that come to BC and mess things up.
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We shrug at Their ice storm, they laugh at Our reaction to six feet of snow.
Tell me again how they managed to Confederate us? Oh right- information travelled on horseback in those days.
Fathers of Confederation (sic: as Dorothy Parker says, "as in 'sic as a dog'"): All together now!
Country: No way.
Fathers of Confederation: Together now.
Country: Meh. Whatever.
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It's too bad you weren't my Canadian History teacher. I would have enjoyed that course a lot more if you were.
^_^
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*tries to dislodge earworm*
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