(no subject)

[flemmings]

Unsettled weather: sudden cloudbursts and thunder, then sun and wind, then cloud again. The saving grace is that it's cool still. This would be unbearable in mug, and there's still a not-quite-headache hovering behind my right eye. Yesterday saw me back from acupuncture (the storm having happened while I was floating pleasantly in the comfy chair there) and suddenly falling asleep for several hours, which I never do unless drugged on anti-histamines or muscle relaxants and not often then.

Have been reading various people talking about Fates and Furies, and what so many of them say is that marriage is *difficult*. It takes *work*. It requires constant attention. And I wonder-- at a conservative estimate, 75% of the world is married in one way or another. Do they really have to work so hard to stay in that state? I wouldn't have thought 75% of the human race had that amount of energy.

Comments

[mvrdrk.livejournal.com]

How much work it takes depends on what you want out of it. If you only want that druggie high of infatuation, or the delicious affirmation of romanticism, you can pour endless energy into it and still fail. If you want the comfortable old slipper of familiarity, then a lower level of paying attention can be enough. For me, relationships have ups and downs and are sometimes more work and sometimes less work. I doubt anyone pours a full 100% effort into it at all times. Part of the comment that it takes work, though, is because for a long time, it was only women's work, and the statement is a reminder to men that they have a contribution to make.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Infatuation and romanticism don't last by definition; old slipperdom is what I'd like, but I was given to understand that it takes time and work to get to that point, where the edges have been rubbed off the people involved so they can actually live comfortably together.

Well yes, it was indeed women's work and probably still is much of the time. The point of that book is that the husband is happily content with his marriage, and only when you get to the second half do you discover how much the success not merely of the marriage but of his whole career was owing to his wife.

[mvrdrk.livejournal.com]

I'll have to go read the book!