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Was gearing myself up for breakfast when comes a merry timble of the doorbell. Far too early for fleshly canvassers to be abroad so I limp downstairs in my sleep shirt expecting something like a workman telling me they're shutting the water off. Nobody at the door, but a package in the mailbox. My lenses arrive at last and I can breathe easier.
Being downstairs I weigh myself and oh dear oh dear. Those thick ankles did not deceive me. I am a sponge. Better take a water pill and stay in, which I was going to do anyway because it's unbreathable soup out there and even in the house my throat is reacting to the air quality.
Fleshly canvassers may not be about but virtual ones call me four times in the morning. Faux-Amazon (your amazon prime account will be suspended unless), faux-gov't (due to the worsening economy the government is prepared to cancel all your debt), faux-bank (this is the credit card centre. There is a suspicious charge on your account) and a robot marketing survey. And then finally the physio centre getting back to me to schedule a follow up appointment with the sports doctor. "He can see you today at 4:15" but today is a water pill day so no. So Wednesday, and it's a phone follow up, which means it could have happened today, but oh well. What will be will be.
Being downstairs I weigh myself and oh dear oh dear. Those thick ankles did not deceive me. I am a sponge. Better take a water pill and stay in, which I was going to do anyway because it's unbreathable soup out there and even in the house my throat is reacting to the air quality.
Fleshly canvassers may not be about but virtual ones call me four times in the morning. Faux-Amazon (your amazon prime account will be suspended unless), faux-gov't (due to the worsening economy the government is prepared to cancel all your debt), faux-bank (this is the credit card centre. There is a suspicious charge on your account) and a robot marketing survey. And then finally the physio centre getting back to me to schedule a follow up appointment with the sports doctor. "He can see you today at 4:15" but today is a water pill day so no. So Wednesday, and it's a phone follow up, which means it could have happened today, but oh well. What will be will be.
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John Lennon neologism from his 1964 book In his own write. The sound of a door chime before they started to go ping pong.
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I strongly suspect that a lot of John's wordplay was inspired by living in the north at a time when the local dialects hadn't been flattened by tv. The rest f course is from Joyce.