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Cherries appear on the tree, small and green and looking like olives. Not many at all, thank god.

Food of the week is asparagus wrapped in sliced roast beef. Helped with avocado or mayonnaise or mustard or possibly all three. Local Japanese restaurant has these, but their beef isn't deli-sliced. Is barely seared Real Thing off a chunk of sirloin, I fancy. However I don't feel up to slicing and searing a hunk of raw beef, hence will make do with the salty deli kind.

Property assessment arrives. And to think there are people who rejoice at discovering how much their house's value has increased. These are the people who don't care where they live, I fancy. But if I ever want to become homeless, the assessment folks are quite convinced that I could sell this dump for a million plus.

(When people post pictures of their pets and so on, I always not how *they* have shiny hardwood floors and *they* have solid well-painted moulding and *they* have ceramic tile in the kitchen, and why don't I? Because I'm too cowardly to get a reverse mortgage on this place and spend a quarter of its value on updating everything, is why.) (I had ceramic tile in the vestibule of my old place, and never again. One good rain and you wipe out at every step.)

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The thought of skidding on wet ceramic tile makes me twitch.

Even worse are the people who have it on their outdoor steps. Or the stores that pave the walkway to the front door with it, and who must post large 'Slippery when wet' notices all winter long. 'You amaze me,' I always think when I see them. 'Seriously, guys- what were you thinking?'

Love this! Yes!

When it's the fashion, people don't think. Like those 6ft square windows they put in all new houses these days. 'Keeps you warm in winter!' Puts your life on display for the neighbourhood or makes you live behind blinds, and definitely requires 24/7 AC in summer. (They never have curtains for some reason.)

When people post pictures of their pets and so on, I always note how *they* have shiny hardwood floors and *they* have solid well-painted moulding and *they* have ceramic tile in the kitchen, and why don't I?

This is why I'm fascinated with interior design magazines. Everything looks so lovely until you stop to think about what you're seeing: Where are the electrical outlets? Surely you have a TV or laptop you need to charge. And where are you going to put your pens/remote controls/house keys?

Oh, interior design magazines are to larf. The fashion for concrete *inside* defeats me, to say nothing of 'neutral' colours and grey stone kitchen counters and no furniture to speak of. Why would you want to live in prison architecture?

But these pictures I see are old houses that have been well-kept or redone by someone with taste. I would so love hardwood floors and wooden banisters and moulding that isn't crumbling...