The saddest words of tongue or pen

[flemmings]

I would not be so fastidious as I am for a kingdom. No, really. Does anyone else here care where their fandoms come from? I do, damn it.

Finding it myself is good. (See: Papuwa, Rika, Karin, Hi Izuru, Stigma.) Finding it through paleaswater's rec is the norm better. (See: Ima Ichiko, Kou Josei, Konron no Tama, Hatsu Akiko, Martha Wells, possibly Detective Bluecat whose origins are lost in the mist of time.) But even when I find it myself there's usually input from paleaswater somewhere (see: Saiyuki and Motoni Modoru way back in ohh '98 was it?)

And this is just fine. I'm pleased as punch to be influenced by paleaswater. Especially since she isn't a fanwriter. When someone writes a series they make it in a sense their own, and if I come into it afterwards I feel, however illogically, that I'm encroaching on their territory. This is why it's very necessary to be first, or among the first. At least you get the pleasure of the virgin fandom before the arrival of the squuee-ers and crackheads and people who not only don't get it, they don't realize there's an it to get.

(That's the other reason to be first: the company you find yourself keeping in well-trodden fandoms. There are very nice people who write Good Omens. There are at least two thundering twits. Writing GO would put me in the company of the nice civil people; it would also put me in company with the twits. Twits speak loudest. I am at the very least disinclined to write GO, shall we say.)

But my current sadness is Patrick O'Brian. I like the books. I like the simultaneous unexpectedness and reliability of them. I like the Aubrey/Maturin relationship. I like *them*. But I came to them through bravecows' fics. If only it had been a rec! But no, fic it was. And now in my head Aubrey/Maturin belongs to bravecows and will never be mine. Because once bravecows fics a work, the rest of us might as well all shake hands and go home.

I need a 'sad' icon these days. The pissy one doesn't cut it.

Comments

[i-am-zan.livejournal.com]

Awwww!!!

Hmmm... I think I see the sense in what you're saying.

I would say I found most of my fandoms (Minekura, and the other two myself) some through rec ...

but... I guess when I get good enough to read 100 Demons...I will be seeing your fics in my head .... (and since that will most likely be a loooong while in the future...you would be less likely to see to see any 100 Demons fic from me! Because I would feel exactly the same....

the rest of us might as well all shake hands and go home.

^_~...

and re to previous posts (because IR lazy) nothing you've written in the last year says "uninspiring" to me.

*huggs* for pissy mood!

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Doubtless a matter of how influencible you are, whether it's 'I became an x fan because I read Y's fics' or 'I'm an x fan but I wish I hadn't read Y's fics first.' At least in a foreign language fandom the canon voices of the characters will be different from what the first (or any) writers do with them in English. This is a good argument for me to stick with Japanese fandoms.

Thanks for the hugs. But thing is, I don't know that my fics are uninspiring per se. They just don't do it for *me* any more. It's like how the smell of coffee brewing is lovely until you get pregnant and then it makes you throw up: some obscure internal shift removes the pleasure from something that you used to like very much, and you don't know how.

[i-am-zan.livejournal.com]

how the smell of coffee brewing is lovely until you get pregnant and then it makes you throw up

Now THAT I can understand!

There is that I guess. Hope you find that it still 'does it' for you sometimes. Cos' - like I say...I enjoy them muchly.

[kickinpants.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm, I see what you're saying. There is a definite pull when you're "pioneering" themes and ideas in the early stages of the English-writing fandom. Nothing is exhausted or overused, nor do you feel like you are inadvertently copying something (outside of the source material. ^_^) Nor are you being "challenged" by different (and perhaps "better", which is my fear) writers. I think it also depends on how close you feel to a set of characters. I find the closer I feel, the harder I have balancing what I write with other writers. (For instance, I still have difficulty reading other WA fics.) If I feel more distanced, it's fine to play in a communal sandbox. (e.g.: Saiyuki.)

If you have a M&C itch though, then I would scratch away at- to your heart's content. If you don't feel comfortable putting it out on the playground because of what is already there, then don't share it. Keep it to satisfy you and your itch. It's your burning story and you'll amaze yourself when you start putting it down and seeing where it will go.

To be honest, I would HEART*HEART*HEART to read an M&C story by you. SERIOUSLY. But I also think it's more important for you to feel comfortable and happy and excited and thrilled and interested by writing these ideas out. If to do is to keep it private for now, then by all means- write and don't share. But if you have something that you want to get out- then get it out for you and no one else.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Nor are you being "challenged" by different (and perhaps "better", which is my fear) writers

Better. That's the thing. On a par, somewhat better, better in certain areas- that I can live with. Quantum leap better- better in ways I couldn't be no matter how I try- that's a show stopper. At that point I feel there's no point in doing it myself, since it's already been done so much better by someone else. (There's a word for that phenomenon- mike used it once- the story that stops fanfic in a series because no one can do it better. Fic killer?)

That notwithstanding, if I had a real burning itch to write M&C, say, I would. But I don't. I have a 'wouldn't it be interesting maybe' inclination to dabble in the waters (and see if I can write a freindship that's unsexual.) Which isn't good enough to overcome either the sense of 'but afrai already did it' or indeed my completist's need to read the whole series before I fic for it. In the end the real fanfic killer may be O'Brian himself- not because of length actually, but because he's already done it so well.

But if I may ask- given that you couldn't finish the first book, why the enthusiasm for M&C fic?

[kickinpants.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I REALLY liked the movie, if that makes sense. I really enjoyed it and liked the different themes and characters in it. The movie pushed me towards the book, and I was really impressed with the author's dialogue and wit, but the detailed passages about the ship and its workings killed me. Seafaring is not my bag, but the interaction was interesting. (So I never finished it, but I sometimes think about trying again. It took me 3 or 4 tries to finish Good Omens, and I had to get through a Terry Pratchett audio book of Mort, which also took 3 or 4 times, before I finally had the push to get through GO.)

Fic Killer? That's interesting. I sort of understand, but most of the time, when I read a good author, they either satisfy what I was looking for or fill in a space I didn't know existed before it. (Again, that's only for things I'm not too close to, like WA/EC, since like I said, I rarely read other work in those areas because I can't handle it. This means I probably miss a lot of great fic, but that's the way it is. This is also why I never join a remix challenge, because I can't deal with reading someone else's version of my story.)

I kind of think the biggest fic killer is ourselves though, but that sounds kind of lame, I know. For me, I am my biggest obstacle why things don't get done or why they don't happen, fic-wise.

So, even though I never finished the book, I'd still be interested in reading your version of M&C, friendship or whatnot.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Now THAT I can understand!

I'm informed it's a common phenomenon. ^_^